Archive for January, 2014

Cleopatra’s Journal Now Linked

Posted: January 31, 2014 by Cat Reyes in Cleopatra's Journal, Other Thoughts

I just spent the last two hours piecing together a linking system for Cleopatra’s Journal. Now each post links to the posts before and after it. So, if you read Day 10, you can find links for Day 9 and Day 11 at the bottom of the page. Let me know if anything messes up. I checked everything to make sure it all works, but I’ve noticed some issues in WP.

Anyway, you can now read all of the CJ posts without hunting around to find them! (And please remember, Day 3 was intentionally skipped because Cleo was stuck in a tree.)


This is the last post in the series about werewolves. Though not the last post I will write about werewolves. The sad part is that I actually wrote the series out of order. I was supposed to write this one as the second and then go on through the other posts. By the time I realized my mistake I had already written the second and third werewolf posts. Well, this post is now here and the series is complete. Please enjoy!

werewolf photo: Jenny WerwolfJenny.jpg

Anyone can be a werewolf. You have learned all the options for curing and destruction, and how to identify a potential wolf, but maybe you want more than that. Maybe you want to be one yourself. You may want to consider this option thoroughly. While your human half gains certain abilities, like speedy healing, agility, and speed, there are a number of downsides as well. In most cases, you cannot control the change or remember what happens after the change. Plus, you will no doubt lose your clothing on occasion and a stronger appetite in both human and wolf forms.

If you have thought all this through, then there are several ways to become a werewolf.

The first is probably the most common way to become a werewolf. Get bit. If you can locate a werewolf, your best option is to find a way to be bitten by one. This has numerous downsides. The biggest downside is the fact that the person has to be in wolf form in order for you to lay claim to the curse. This means that once in wolf form, most people are unable to control the beast to stop after the first bite. You may risk your life to claim your wolf form.

Another option is to make a deal with a witch or the Devil. A witch will typically ask for something that you value most, like your first born son or something of that ilk. The Devil will most likely ask for your soul. Either option is not exactly a pretty one, but they are viable if you are desperate enough to want to become terminally furry. In both cases, you are likely to get salve, a pelt, and an incantation. Remember the pelt can be in the form of a complete wolf fur, a coat made from wolf hide, or a belt made from a strip of wolf skin. You must rub the salve over your skin before applying the wolf pelt, and then say the incantation to take on your wolf form.

On the other hand, you can simply piss a witch or the Devil off. Get them mad enough to curse you and there you go. You turn furry once a month and don’t have to bother with salves or incantations.

The next choice is to drink water from a wolf paw print. If you can find wolf tracks, wait for it to rain or snow, then drink the water from the track. The problem here is that the wolf print has to remain in form before you drink. No, you cannot simply pour water from a water bottle or something into the track; you have to wait for natural water to appear. And you risk getting a mouthful of mud using this particular technique.

Another alternative concerns where a wolf or pack drinks. If you can, find a spring that the local pack uses for liquid nourishment. If you can find a pool where wolves usually drink, you can drink from it. But there is a small crutch, you must drink at the same time that a wolf does, in the same manner. Not the most comfortable option out there, especially if the wolf notices you. You can also drink downstream from a wolf. Again in the same manner but this time a few seconds after the wolf begins to drink.

Some people are lucky enough to change simply because they slept in moonlight. Though this requires some serious work. It has to be done on a specific Friday, during the full moon, in the middle of a meadow. The sad part is that no one can agree which Friday is the one that will cause the change.

Natural werewolves are born that way. Either parent can be a werewolf, or both of them can be (which would probably be the best way). Or the child is the seventh son of a seventh son, or the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. Being born the day before Christmas was thought to be a sure sign of werewolfism, but has been ruled out a couple hundred years ago. This person is simply more likely to become a werewolf if they take the previously mentioned steps. Also, if a child is born with a caul over their heads, teeth, or a full head of hair, the child is more likely to become a werewolf later in life.

Once you are sure that you are a werewolf, look for specific signs. You will become restless a few days before the transformation. This restlessness will be in fidgeting, pacing, and inability to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. You will become hungry to the point that it drives you nuts, but you will be unable to sate that hunger. You will also become dehydrated and no matter how much you drink, it won’t be enough.

When the transformation begins, it is said to be incredibly painful. Your body will be shifting, bones changing length and width to fit the frame of your beast. Your internal organs will also begin to shift to fit the more wolf-like anatomy. You will experience seizures, foaming at the mouth, extreme bodily temperatures, and generally feel like you are dying.

After the transformation, expect to be lethargic. Again, concentration will be weak. And you will be extremely sore, with feelings like growing pains ranging your entire body. You will also be sensitive to light for a few days after the transformation occurs.

Make sure you know what you are getting into before you attempt to become a werewolf. If you can, sit down with a werewolf who retains their wolfish experiences before you start taking steps to become one.

Go back to All Things Werewolf                                                            Move on to Identifying a Werewolf

I came up with this when I was doing some research today. Hope you all enjoy it. Remember, this is a kind of first draft and will be finished at a later date. No, it’s not done. It’s a two or three part short story. Enjoy!
werewolf photo: werewolf werewolf.jpg

Man survives a Werewolf Attack!

The strange string of attacks and sighting culminated today in an unusual account by a local hunter who says he survived a werewolf attack. The three hunters; Michael Williams, Sean Corbet, and John Worth; had been hunting in the Mountains of Western Wyoming for nearly ten years, says Williams. The group, he claimed, did not believe the reports of strange animal mutilations or sightings of a giant hairy creature roaming the woods where they hunted. Since they had never seen such a creature, the three men assumed that the reports were of a bear and thought that they would resolve the issue that had, so far, baffled investigators.

The three men hiked into the Targee National Forest Tuesday afternoon, planning to bring back the bear. However, they were in for more than they could handle, admits Williams. The attack began after the three men heard what Williams described as, “the most unnatural howl I have ever heard.” The hunters were further concerned when a deer raced by right between them, apparently fleeing from a large predator. Shortly after the deer vanished, the men loosed their guns, starting to hear sounds of growling. Williams claims that the growls sounded like they were coming from a wolf.

At one point the growls stopped moving. As the men turned to face the wolf, a creature burst from the shrubbery and attacked, dragging Corbet just as quickly as it appeared. The screams stopped shortly after Corbet vanished, before the remaining men could react.

Williams claimed that he and Worth had no choice but to leave the man behind and go for help. As they ran, they were aware that the creature they barely caught a glimpse of was following them. As the two men reached a clearing, the beast appeared again, slapping Worth hard enough that Williams heard the other man’s neck snap. Then the creature turned on Williams.

“It was tall, taller than a man,” claimed Williams, “and covered in fur. It smelled terrible and looked worse. It was like some strange mesh of wolf, man, and bear. There was nothing else it could be, but a werewolf.”

The creature took a swipe at the remaining man who, with quick thinking, pretended to be killed by it. “It swatted me around a bit,” Williams stated, “but it must’ve gotten bored because it wandered away.” The werewolf, Williams asserted, was eating the remains of his friend.

“After that, I thought I’d better get the **** out of there. I crawled until I reached the tree-line before running the rest of the way to the truck.”

When asked why he didn’t immediately go to, or call, the police. Williams had this to say, “I honestly hadn’t thought of it. My first thought was to get the **** out of there. When I saw I was bleeding, I could only think about getting to the hospital.”

Dr. George Lebrowski treated Williams wounds. He admitted that, “Williams had several deep cuts across his chest and arms from where a creature struck him. The wounds were reminiscent of a bear’s claw.” Williams received forty-three stitches on his chest and arms.

When the authorities returned to where Williams claimed his fellow hunters were, they were unable to find the remains.

Deputy Sheriff James Rainier of the Park County Police Force had this to say, “The guy is in shock. Doesn’t know what he saw. It’s probably a bear that attacked him, but to be honest, I wouldn’t put it past Williams to have had something to do with the missing men.”

Williams has been released into police custody where he is being detained for further questioning.

Go to All Things Werewolf                                                          Go to Stories                                                     Go to Werewolf Attacks Part 2

werewolf photo: Werewolf Werewolf.png

So we have covered how to identify, how to cure, and what a werewolf really is. Now it is time to cover how to destroy the beast that haunts our dreams and nightmares.

In days gone by, people believed that the only cure for werewolf-ism was destruction. Few people, if any, knew that there were potential cures out there. Most who found out that the creatures were real didn’t care, mostly because they had lost a loved one to the claws of the werewolf in question. Those people just wanted the beast gone, which is understandable. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes the proclaimed cures don’t work and there is no other choice.

So, how do we destroy a werewolf? Yes, the silver bullet. However, the silver bullet may not work if used on its own. For the best results, the bullet needs to be blessed by a priest. (So should the gun, actually.) If a priest is unavailable, then your next bet is to dip the bullet in holy water. No holy water, then your bet is to melt down a blessed cross. If you take a cross without permission, the divinity that is held within will be lost through the act.

No bullets? Well, there is also silver mercury. But housing mercury in the silver mercury can be difficult. Thick casing can prevent the mercury from dispersing into the wolf’s body. Too thin and the casing will melt as it is pushed through the barrel of your gun. If a shell can’t be built around the mercury, you may need to inject the mercury, via needle, strait into the werewolf. Maybe the best method of delivery will be through darts. Darts can be modified to carry the silver mercury. The only think you have to remember is to target the major arteries, or directly over the heart for the best distribution.

Probably the most common option available for unnatural creatures is decapitation. Try to get your hands on a silver blade, or one that is silver coated, if this is your chosen method of destruction. However, if you are good with guns, try a machine gun or sub-machine. Using a shot-gun could resolve the issue if you make sure the pellets are silver. Just remember to remove the head completely before regeneration begins.

By the same token, the heart can also be removed for the same result. Try the shot-gun, the sub-machine, or machine guns for this purpose. You will not want to get close enough to take it out surgically. However, getting the heart in one or two shots is unlikely, so this really isn’t a viable option.

Fire is the best way to make sure that the creature won’t get back up. After you have taken out the creature, or think you have, you still need to dismember it and burn the pieces. This is the one true method of destruction.

The use of herbs will not destroy a werewolf. But, if you use the herbs correctly, you can make the creature falter long enough for you to either get away or do some damage. Monkshood, also known as wolfsbane, is the best herb for werewolf dealings. Other plants to use are Rye, and Mountain Ash. If you choose to hunt a wolf with a bow, make the bow and arrows from the wood of the Ash. As far as monkshood and rye, try to mix them into the wolf’s drink or food to get the desired effect.

Just remember that many who are terminally furry are subject to amnesia during their wolfish escapades. It is important to try curing the wolf first. Use destruction solely as a last resort.

Go back to All Things Werewolf

So, you want to cure a werewolf. Have you made sure that what you have on your hands is a werewolf? If so, then continue on. If not, check out yesterday’s post: Identifying a Werewolf. If you are wondering what in the world I am talking about, then I suggest you read: What is a werewolf?

The first thing to realize is that the person you have identified as a werewolf may not actually be a werewolf. I’m not saying that they can’t be a were-creature, but a werewolf is going to be different than say, a werebear or werecoyote. The tips I will be mentioning are going to be strictly for werewolves, so be sure which creature you are dealing with (for more information on these creatures: stay tuned).

Curing a werewolf is going to be extremely hard to do and, as you have noticed, most people think that the only way to cure one is to destroy it. That is not true. There are other options available to cure the terminally furry.

Now, depending on where you live in the world, there are region specific cures available.

werewolf photo: Timo BladeWolf.jpg

In Greece, people noticed that the werewolf, once returning to their human form, would be worn out. So they devised a series of purely physical activities meant to drive out the wolf aspect of a werewolf. This act came to be known as exorcising the beast. Europe quickly picked up the idea and labeled it ‘Exorcism’. Before that treatment became available to Europe, people believed the cure lie in becoming a Christian.

In Germany, however, the idea was a little different. They didn’t believe that physical exercise was enough to burn off the beast within. Not that they scoffed at the idea, they just didn’t believe it. Germans felt that if the werewolf was reminded of his humanity, he would return to his human shape. To do this, they simply called out the humans’ name three times.

There are a number of cures that involve water. The idea was that water could be molded into other forms. Take water and pour it into a cup and it will take on the form of that cup. The same will happen with a bowl that is round or square. If anything is added to the water, such as a spoon, the water will simply gather around it. So the thought was that if a person could be submerged during their change, the water could either control the change, or prevent it completely. Other ideas for water purification include jumping over a river, keeping one limb in water, submerging only the head, or rolling in the morning dew.  The only requirement is that the water has to be completely natural, no contaminants or treatments.

Probably one of the most gruesome cures is to remove a part of the wolf. This part can take the form of an ear, paw, or tail. Some people suggest the nose as a viable option, though I do not recommend this. There are a handful of legends that support this idea.

If none of these cures work, you could be faced with a willing werewolf or another kind of were-creature all-together. Sadly, in the case of a willing werewolf, you will be forced to take more permanent actions. They will have to be destroyed. If you are faced with another were-creature, there may be other options available. Like I said, this post is for curing the werewolf. While some of these tips may work with another creature, it will be extremely doubtful and dangerous to even try unless you know for certain that they will work.

Go back to All Things Werewolf                                                                 Check out Destroying a Werewolf

Now that you know what a werewolf is, you may be curious about how to figure out if someone is terminally furry. Doing so can be much harder than it sounds. You may not be able to spot the wolves among the humans. It is simple to think that you would easily spot the wolf, but many go to great lengths to hide their signaling traits.

First, let us look at the human form. There are the typical features that mark werewolf-ism. Excessive hair is only one feature, and easy to hide, especially the hair on the palms. However, a uni-brow is a little harder to hide but can also be taken care of. Longer, sharper teeth can be brushed off as dental artistry or issues. The nails themselves may be tinted red, but that can be covered by nail polish. The nails tend to grow into points and are typically cut on a regular basis or are explained away.

There are some signs that are harder to hide. If the person is in a darkened room, shine a flashlight in their eyes. Like a dog, cat, or wolf, the eyes will reflect the glare of the light. Do they avoid the gym? Try to get them wet. Once they are sufficiently wet, they will give off the smell of a wet dog. Finally, check their hands, if their third finger is as long as, or longer than, the middle finger, this is a sign of a werewolf. Some werewolves will carry a scar-like symbol on their palm. This symbol is sometimes in the form of a pentagram or a wolf print.

If you are willing to try it, there is another way to determine if the person in question is a wolf. It is said that any wound taken in wolf form will appear on the human form. So your best bet is to try to wound the wolf and see if the suspected human has the same mark. However, this is not enough. But a tip is that if you are able to leave a mark on a wolf, try to make the mark distinctive and in an obvious place. That would be the easiest way to discern whether the wolf in question is truly a werewolf.

werewolf photo: werewolf Werewolf.jpg

Next, it is time to look at the wolf form. A werewolf will appear much like other wolves but its size will set it apart from the rest. Unfortunately, like the natural wolves, they travel in packs with other werewolves, making it hard to differentiate the size. They will also appear better fed than their natural cousins. Also, all of their teeth will be pointed and sharp, instead of just the canines.

Some werewolves will have a definite lack of a tail, or have only a stub in its place. Other human characteristics will be apparent, such as human eyes, fingers or toes on the paws, or complete hands or feet, even human genitalia.

Obviously a half-wolf, half-man form is an obvious giveaway of werewolf-ism. This full werewolf stands easily around six to seven feet tall, no matter the height of the human form. Like humans, it prefers to stand bipedal rather than on all fours. This form comes both with and without a tail and carries more wolf features than human.

Once you are sure that you have a wolf on your hands, the next step is to cure it. Though you should be careful in your attempts to identify a werewolf, if they catch on to what you are doing, they will do what they can to protect themselves. Even if it means murder.

Go back to All Things Werewolf                                                                       Check out Curing a Werewolf

Werewolves are just one of the many creatures that inhabit the nocturnal mythical world around us, toying with our nightmares and dreams, and surviving in our books and movies. But what is a werewolf, really?

werewolf photo: Werewolf Werewolf.png

Today, we have the common perception that werewolves are really men who transform into a half-man, half-wolf beast during the full moon. However, reality reveals a very different creature. There are two main kinds of werewolves and several… subspecies of these kinds. These main types of werewolves are the willing and unwilling werewolves, both of which remain, for the most part, shrouded in the humanity’s past. Then we deal with the fantasy wolf that is common to today’s beliefs and concepts and finally there is the condition of lycanthropy.

The original werewolf legend claims that a lord and warrior wanted to protect his people and lands and was willing to do anything to do so. He sold his soul to the devil in order to change into a wolf and therefore be able to do as he needed. The choice to become a werewolf came with a skin, some salve, and an incantation that will cause the transformation to occur. Only the power of the animal form corrupted his thoughts and he went from a once benevolent ruler to one who dominated his people and desired more land.

And so the legend of the werewolf began. More people followed a similar path to the original werewolf, either selling their souls to claim a skin, contacting a witch for the materials at another high price, or offering to be bitten by another werewolf. After the first transformation, they became more like their bestial aspects and would terrorize the areas in which they lived. These willing werewolves were able to control the change and determine when, where, and who would suffer at the hands of the creature they became. They would have no remorse for their wrongs and often retain memory of the events. Whether they were capable of fully controlling the creature they became or not are still unknown, though it is believed that they could fully control their animal aspect.

And the only way to stop the creature was to kill them or to burn the fur. The interesting fact about this is that the original legends said there were several ways to kill these creatures. The first werewolves could be killed in the same manner as any normal wolf. No silver bullets required.

Also interesting is the fact that these first werewolves were easily discerned from their natural brethren by the fact that some human aspect would remain after the transformation. This human aspect could be anything from eyes, hands, legs, genitilia, or even hair.

The unwilling werewolf generally is a person who is cursed or survives the attack from a werewolf. It is the most common form of werewolf-ism. This one has no choice at all when about when they conform to their bestial form. They also cannot control the beast or remember the events of the night while transformed. It is here that we see other limitations. There is no fur in which to change form, nor salve or incantation. The full moon is one of the things that is familiar to werewolf transformation. Another possible requirement is the herb wolf’s bane. If the wolf’s bane is blooming, then the werewolves are likely to transform every night. Night is commonly the only time the transformation takes place with unwilling werewolves. And finally, this werewolf is almost impossible to discern from the natural wolf, an aspect of the curse they are under.

However, this werewolf can be cured. Because of their unwillingness to take their bestial form, the cures are more likely to work and their souls are still attached. Not all cures will work and there are times when the cures will not work at all. This may be because they secretly enjoy what their canine form does, whether or not they remember it. Sadly, if they cannot be cured, the only course of action left is to destroy the werewolf in question.

The werewolf of today, also known as the fantasy wolf, is the creature most people associate with the werewolves. Unlike its previous brethren who changed into a complete wolf form (with some minor human aspects still visible), it has the ability to change into a half-man, half-wolf creature. It is completely controlled by the moon. The person who becomes the wolf also has no memory of the transformation, only realizing it when someone else puts the pieces together. Also a stigma of the fantasy wolf is the fact that once the pieces are put together, they typically act in self preservation.

Here we have the typical destruction by silver bullet. There is also a strong sense that this creature cannot be cured of its condition. Both man and animal forms are viewed as being evil people with cruel tastes.

The final werewolf is the psychological condition of lycanthropy. Lycanthropy has been transformed to mean werewolves in general, but was originally coined to describe a person who became a werewolf only in their mind. This type of werewolf is extremely rare. Some of the symptoms include becoming restless around the full moon, extremely vivid dreams of running in the area in which they live. This usually is accompanied by sleepwalking tendencies so they begin to believe that their dreams are really occurring.

A handful of people being dominated by this form of werewolf-ism have actually killed others in order to sate their extreme appetites. Because of this, it is recommended that if you know someone with these symptoms you help them to start seeing a psychiatrist. In extreme cases, it may be necessary to confine them to an institution where they can get the help that they need.

These are the basic types of werewolves, there are actually different kinds when you go further into the mythologies, such as werewolves where the wolf transforms to human. But there are also other kinds of were-creatures. Wolves are just one of the creatures that have taken up our imaginations and nightmares. There are also werefoxes, wereheyenas, weresnakes (typically known as nagas), werebears, wereboars, weretigers, werejaguars, werelions, weredogs, wereswans, and on down the line. These were-creatures are typically found in specific parts of the world. So if you want to learn more, you can look up the myths of various locations and learn about the specific were-creatures. However, remember that some creatures will have other names besides ‘were-‘, such as the naga mentioned above.

Go back to All Things Werewolf                                                             Check out Becoming a Werewolf

As most of you know, I have only just started blogging (starting a few days before Christmas). So, thanks to a comment from Cary, I wanted to share my thoughts on gathering followers.

To be completely honest, I have no real idea how I have gotten so many. I think most of it is because I was doing the blog novel. I still haven’t decided if I want to just continue it on the blog or publish myself or check out a handful or two publishers.

I think in order to get more followers, you will want to check your tags. Trust me, they are super important. When I worked on doing the CJ (Cleopatra’s Journals) posts, I tagged everything from the names I used the most (usually Cleo, River, Abby, and Gabriel) as well as what the post was dealing with. This meant that I tagged zombies, zombie apocalypse, surviving a zombie apocalypse, virus (which is how the apoc started), as well as tags like story, short story, and novel, then I focused on the nit and gritty. Sadly, I just now realized that in one of the CJ posts I can tag ‘guns’ and ‘crossbows’. On the regular posts… well I focused solely on what the post was about. My ramble was about why I wrote, why I wrote the CJ posts, etc, so those were tags for that post. Don’t use random tags because that will annoy readers who are looking for specifics. So if you are talking about zombies and don’t have werewolves, but tag werewolves… well, not a good idea.

I can’t say if you should focus on something specific. People like my stories, but I have seen some awesome posts from other writers on stuff like the zombie apocalypse – in the literal sense that I have genuinely enjoyed. So far the most likes I have gotten are for my stories, not for my posts, unless you count the writer’s links and ramble posts. (Course right now I am considering doing a tongue-in-check series of posts on lycanthropes – such as “how to become a werewolf” and stuff like that, to see how that does.)

Another suggestion is to link up to everything. I looked up how to connect my blog to various search engines, which I can’t remember how to do now. My suggestion is to search up the connections to specific search engines like google, yahoo, bing,, etc. I also have accounts with Twitter, Facebook, and Linked-In. WordPress has options that allow writers to post on those (and many more) servers, so I set that up. Whenever I post, a link pops up on all three instantly. I don’t have to do anything but post the blog and get people coming to see my latest to-do.

At one point, I was writing every day, mostly for the realism of the CJ posts. I haven’t been able to lately – health issues. So that would be my best tip. Write something everyday. Connect and tag what you can and make sure that you tag things that you repeat more than three times (unless like me, you tag ‘virus’ which was only mentioned in Day 1).

Finally, the last thing you might wish to do is find bloggers with similar content. Comment and follow their blogs, which can generate traffic for both of you. And don’t forget to check their blog posts once in a while to see how they are doing.

But, just so you know, this is a tentative idea of how I gathered followers and is not written in pure gold. 🙂

Go back to Writing for Writers.

A ‘Story’

Posted: January 20, 2014 by Cat Reyes in Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I don’t know who wrote this ‘story’ but I think it’s brilliant and I had to share. I found it when I was visiting a little ma and pa’s diner up in Whitefish, Montana. Hope you all enjoy it (and if someone could tell me who wrote it, I’d be very, very happy)!

Please be sure to read this all the way through. It is extremely worth it!

Life Explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s a kind of tough life for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten and I’ll give back the other ten.”

So God agreed.

On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people. Do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”

Monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”

God agreed, again.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”

Man said, “What? Only twenty? Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey didn’t want, and the ten the dog returned. That makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everyone.

Isn’t it strange…

You spend the first two years of your child’s life teaching them to walk and talk, then spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up?

Children quote everything you say. Often word for word. And usually what you should never have said in the first place.

Why should you host children’s parties? To remind you that there are worse children than your own.

Childproofing your home doesn’t seem to work. They still get in.

For headaches, make sure that you follow the directions on the aspirin bottle: Take 2 and keep away from children.


Go back to Stories

I recently learned that the man who is, for all intents and purposes, the godfather of the modern zombie and our understanding of the zombie apocalypse, Max Brooks goes to various government agencies to speak about the zombie apocalypse. One of the biggest issues that he promotes is the importance of water.

water photo: Water Water Water water.jpg

I have been toying with this thought ever since. If a zombie apocalypse, or any kind of apocalypse, were to occur, what would we do for water? This actually is an extremely valid question. People see water everyday and never really think about it. We get water from bottles at the store, or from the tap at home and we never consider the possibility that water could become a precious commodity in the event of some catastrophe. What happened at Katrina proves just how important water really is.

In the case of the zombie apocalypse, we may not know what causes the virus that creates the zombies. And if we don’t, then we have a serious problem. Once those precious bottles of water run out, we are pretty much left standing in the desert, even with a river raging nearby. Yes, there are things to do to remove ordinary contaminants from water, such as bleach or boiling (though for the best results you want to boil the water for at least one full minute, according to some sources, and up to fifteen minutes, before adding 2 drops of unscented, non-dyed bleach per gallon of water).  The problem is that we don’t know what bleach or boiling will do to the contaminant in the water. Bleach could cause the contaminant to mutate for all we know. Boiling may not even remove the contaminant at all. This could also be said for the radiation from a nuclear apocalypse.

The fact is that we will be in serious trouble if we do not start thinking outside the box and consider things that we take for granted. Water may be the next gold or platinum in the market. We need to consider things like this so that in the future we will have options in case anything happens. There are no answers now and, frankly, there may never be any need for those answers… but for those of us who prefer to be prepared, it is important to consider this problem as something that is truly valid.

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